International Love

Yes, this post shares it's title with a song. Yes, it's catchy. Okay, you may stop singing it now.

The US Presidential elections concluded 2 days back and proved that once you go Barack, you never go back. Well, you sort of have to go forward to somebody else in 2016, but that's out of compulsion and not choice. The bottom line is that Obama managed to salvage a second term as President and Romney can go back to his sad life in his sad little multi million dollar house. While I see the election of Obama as a good thing for India and the whole world for that matter, it's probably because I find it easier to trust democrats after a certain George W Bush left his mark on the Middle East. However, what I find surprising is the amount of Facebook statuses saying 'Congratulations, Obama'. And even more statuses saying 'Why do people care so much about America and not about India?' Let's break that down.

Firstly, American elections are important. America's President doesn't sit and decide which convict to pardon while strolling through the gardens of the White House; he is a man of global importance with phenomenal power. Globalization is so advanced now that changes in policy in America directly affect Indian trade accounts and Balance Sheets, investment in key projects, education, Gross Domestic Product and nuclear policies, just to name a few. India has become known for being the safest player on the table and dislikes getting into anybody's bad books. This has a lot to do with the fact that our neighbouring countries hate us. Isn't it easier for India to suck up to someone it has been sucking up to for the last 4 years instead of establishing completely new ties with that person's political rival, especially since our country at large remains pro Obama? Manmohan Singh would have to come up with a bulls**t speech about how we secretly yearned for Romney to take control of America to captain the ship to lighter waters (quite literally), and we know how difficult that is for a speech impaired person.

Coming to the issue of how people give the American Elections more attention than our Indian elections, the answer is quite simple. Let's just take a good logical look at this. America's Election system involves 2 charismatic candidates who campaign for months through promotional ads and rallies featuring popular rock bands, have a series of intellectual debates dealing with economy, foreign policy and other key issues topped off with CNN's exclusive and exhaustive coverage of what is known as Election Night which is practically a festival in the States. In India, after our political parties struggle to put up candidates with the least lengthy criminal records, they go around bribing small pockets of minorities and poor people to vote for them. After a few allegations of booth capturing, we are told that one of the parties has won. They come up with a 3 letter short form such as the UPA or the NDA (God knows how many of the party members know the full forms of each) and then we begin to play coalition politics.

My views are exaggerated and cynical, but the key difference between America and India isn't the assumption that America's political spectrum is cleaner than ours. The difference is that American elections are simply marketed much better. If Rahul Gandhi got A R Rahman to perform at a Congress rally, if Rahul Dravid publicly endorsed the BJP proudly, if Modi and Rahul Gandhi faced off, one on one to discuss corruption or resource allocation or nuclear policy with Rajdeep Sardesai or Barkha Dutt or Arnab Goswami as the moderator, don't you think we'd set a record for the highest attention given to an Indian election? But can you seriously imagine that happening? The likelihood of Rahman or Dravid endorsing a party publicly out of pride and not payment, the idea that Modi and Rahul Gandhi having a serious debate and the possibility of Sardesai not being staunchly anti BJP, of  Barkha Dutt not being staunchly anti subtlety and Arnab Goswami not being staunchly anti - anything anyone else says; the likelihood is negligible. The difference between America and India is that celebrities, politicians and the media pull together during the elections to highlight how important the process of democracy is in America. In India, we try to motivate the laziest generation to ever see daylight to vote without making it an Android App on their phones. Call me cynical, but I fear that's the truth. Ponder over it and you might figure out a solution, but until then, don't blame me if I go for substance over forced patriotism.

Robber Vadra or Arvind Page-3-wal?

The Anna Hazare anti corruption movement dominated newspaper headlines and bulletins alike for the greater part of 2011. It also brought to light a group called the IAC (India Against Corruption) and a certain Mr. Arvind Kejriwal who fought tooth and nail for the Lokpal Bill which was ultimately slated to be passed during the monsoon session. Conveniently for the Congress, the BJP would bring up a totally unrelated scam and halt proceedings almost completely and this bill was never passed. It's lovely that the Government has been involved in so many scams that it can bring them up to distract people from other scams; it adds so much flavour to our country. I don't think I've been bored since CWG or Adarsh or 2G (honestly can't remember which one came first) came into the limelight.

Forgive me, I digress. After the Government sort of agreed on the Lokpal Bill, Anna Hazare would disappear and start working on other things. Kejriwal wanted to start a political party of his own to fight the 2014 elections. However, there is a flaw to this master plan. Kejriwal did not want any sort of political framework in his party. It now looks like a vague, ambiguous blob which regularly chants 'For the people, By the people, Of the people' while pausing to express outrage that Anna Hazare has decided not to promote it. This 'Third Front' has greatly troubled the Government on various issues which is great to watch, but accusing the Congress Chief's son-in-law seems like taking the matter one step too far. I mean sure, accusing a businessman and a major company of mutual masturbation while slyly mentioning that the businessman happens to be Sonia Gandhi's son-in-law seems like a good idea in theory, but do you really think it's a strong enough accusation to force the Government to quit? This Government has messed up an international sports event, sold for profit a building meant for war heroes, made horrible business decisions while allocating 2G spectrum and a limited fossil fuel, watched silently as Assam erupted in violence and still claimed to have the people's interests at heart, and THAT was the best you could do? Seriously?

If you really want to dent the Government's armour of corruption, don't move on to unrelated, unpolitical businessmen just because they come from the same family. You've slyly made an enemy of the DLF now, and I can guarantee that more people want to watch the IPL than the amount of people who vote in every elections. If you want to make a genuine effort to eradicate corruption in the business world, there are bigger fish to fry. Go after the Ambanis or the Mallyas, they have enough skeletons in their closet. Don't pick a soft target such as a random son in law who happens to be a businessman. It's the political equivalent of sitting on the fence, especially since your political party is still somewhere between genuine party and people's movement. 2 years to be taken seriously, you can't waste time like this.

It's unfortunate that 300 crores seems like loose change in India now when it comes to scams. What's ironic is that in the United States, Obama's getting a better challenge from Romney than the Congress is from the BJP simply based on not being active enough. There's no corruption, no skeletons in the closet, nothing involved. It's a fair election over the economics and politics of America and in India, we're still trying to choose the lesser evil. What's scary is that as a journalism student, you read about Watergate and marvel at how Bernstein and Woodward got President Nixon to resign over a break in. In India, the Government would blink, laugh at the effort and move on, unfazed. They eat scandals like that for breakfast.

FDI: Funny, Dumb Interpretations

To all those who haven't read up on the topic already, FDI stands for Foreign Direct Investment. It refers to a country allowing foreign companies to invest in certain fields or businesses in their country. The percentage of FDI refers to how much of an equity share the foreign company will be allowed to own in the outlets they set up which directly affects the decision making process of the company. So first things first, 51 percent FDI in retail does not mean that 51 percent of the retail industry in India will be run by foreign players. It simply means that Walmart can open a Walmart and have decisions taken by Walmart. Still paranoid? Read on.

Along with the 51 percent in retail, specifically multi brand retail (supermarkets), comes a set of laws which governs the investment. The first condition is that all these companies will have to make a minimum investment of 100 million dollars, something all of them seem very willing to do. Secondly, these companies can open malls only in cities with a minimum population of 10 lakh (about 53 key cities). In the present scenario, farmers sell their produce to a middleman (like a wholesaler) who then sells it to retailers like kirana stores at a much higher price. In turn, the retailer sells it to consumers at a higher price. While any supporter of FDI cannot promise that the elimination of the middleman (Walmart typically buys straight from the farmer) will lead to lower prices, it should definitely be noted that a reduction in the number of levels in this hierarchy leads to quicker buying and selling and might fetch farmers higher prices than they are able to charge as of now. 

Another 'issue' that most opposition leaders have against FDI is the fact that a lot of middlemen and kirana store owners will lose their jobs. Their sudden love for these people is very touching, but it should be pointed out that one Walmart would be providing employment to the equivalent of 10 kirana stores based on very conservative estimates. 

An issue that seems a little legitimate, however, is the question of monopoly. Walmart charges in, takes command and pushes everyone else out of business. Who is to say that the same Walmart that was paying the farmers extra will pay them miniscule amounts due to the lack of any other buyers? The Government tries to convince us that it will bail the farmers out of any such predicament, but very honestly, the Government is not known for keeping farmers particularly happy. Vidharba is enough proof of that. The Government still wants first pick of any material that farmers have to sell, but will a public sector supermarket be able to compete with Walmart, realistically? This is one legitimate argument which means that there are still kinks to work out before Manmohan Singh rolls out the reforms as though making up for 7 years of silence. 

All in all, FDI seems like a pretty good idea, especially in the aviation sector where it has been set at 49 percent. Whether some foreign party will be interested in bailing out Kingfisher is very interesting. Whether Walmart can do what McDonalds managed to do about 20 years ago still remains to be seen. But for now, let FDI run it's course while making sure it has a leash. You never know how much havoc could be caused due to the lack of a plan.

Alienating Assam

1992 – Babri Masjid Demolition Riots. 2002 – Godhra Riots. 2012 – Assam riots. The pattern is almost sickening, isn’t it? We almost religiously (might be the wrong word to use) have riots every 10 years, but there is still something about the Assam violence that makes it different from any other violence. The fact that people care more about instances of sporadic violence in other parts of India rather than the main issue that is burning Assam and most of the North East. We once jokingly referred to the Seven sister states as ‘The Other India’ in reference to their varied culture and customs. Ironically today, the same name can be used to describe how India has alienated the whole region.

A 100 people, according to official records, have been killed in the state of Assam due to violence relating to illegal immigration and yet newspapers carry headlines about the 4 odd people killed in Mumbai, about 2 people beaten up in Hyderabad and 10 people in Uttar Pradesh. What has Assam done to deserve this cold shoulder? Nobody knows. The media has disconnected itself from the issue, focusing on debates relating to banning Twitter and bulk SMSes and panel discussions about the Mumbai Police. The Mumbai Police Chief was shifted a few days ago but the Assam CM remains in power, watching on as his state burns before his eyes.  We celebrate Kasab’s death sentence and yet people are unfairly sentenced to death in Assam everyday by a trigger happy Army that would rather shoot the protestors than find out why they are protesting. Young Indians, jubilant after a World Cup win are welcomed as heroes, just as tens of thousands of North Eastern youth are stuck between getting beaten up in their homeland and getting beaten up in their colleges.

So what is the issue that troubles these otherwise peaceful people? The fact that Bangladeshis, Muslims or not, have been illegally entering Assam, usurping resources and jobs while changing the political position of the State completely. The issue is not a new one. The 1983 Assam Agitation led to the death of over 5000 people in the state because the Government did not listen and called for State Elections when the constituencies had suddenly become predominantly Muslim. In 1985, Rajiv Gandhi finally looked into the matter and found the same problem – illegal immigration had led to heavily skewed constituencies. He signed what is known as the Assam Accord, expelling all Bangladeshis who had entered Assam post 1971 back to Bangladesh and building a fence along the previously unprotected border that the state shared with the country. That was in 1985. Today, in 2012, 27 years later, 42 km of that border remains freely accessible – a shocking 17 percent. Yet, the media has not questioned why this border has not been fenced, leave alone whether all illegal immigrants have been sent back to their native land.

The Assamese raised their voices again, and it seems that their plea has fallen on deaf ears again. While Parliament remains deadlocked over an issue potentially worth crores, many people die in Assam everyday. 6 Governments have not taken this issue seriously and made a genuine effort to try and curb Bangaladeshi influence in Assam and yet the media remains strangely silent. The total toll amounts now to over 5200 people. Is this issue not as important as a woman being raped and murdered in Delhi or is it simply not as entertaining? It is time we took a hard long look at our media’s role as the Fourth Estate and admitted to ourselves that in this matter, they have grossly failed. Pray that there does not come a day when our North East willingly attaches itself to the Republic of China, which looks like it would take better care of them than we are.

             

India's Un-Presidented Decline

Article 52 of the Indian Constitution prescribes that India must have a President, a nominal head of State who represents the Indian citizen and enjoys the privilege of being First Citizen (fancy house and cars). What Article 52 does not, however, inform us, is the long and tedious procedure that must take place to elect a President, a figure in the Government whose sole authority is causing traffic blockades, inaugurating the Indian Grand Prix and granting pardons to film stars embroiled in long drawn court cases. At least that's what Pratibha Patel, erstwhile President of India will be known for.

For her entire term, people have been skeptical about President Prathibha Patil's ability to hold even a nominal position in the Government, but declined to comment strongly on the issue for two reasons:
1. This is India's first female President we're talking about.
2. President Pratibha Patil makes for an interesting alliteration, doesn't it? I'm actually surprised nobody has referred to her as PPP in the course of her long reign. Maybe that way she would be good for something.
To all the feminists and opinion leaders who believed, 5 years ago, that we needed a female President because India needed pro - women policies and laws, I cannot resist the urge to ask; what have we achieved? Are we better off now than we were under APJ Abdul Kalam? Hmm, Kalam. The name carries a certain sense of respect, doesn't it? The amount of Facebook groups that have come up supporting Kalam for a renewed term as President is hardly surprising, after all, Kalam's first term was as celebrated as any we've seen. Here's something to ponder, though: it wouldn't surprise me at all if a people's poll would reveal Kalam to be the frontrunner for the post. Very interesting how the people of India seem to be more on the same page when it comes to a political figure who has only nominal power, and more importantly, someone we do NOT have the power to elect. Compare the number of Kalam groups to the number of Rahul Gandhi groups and see for yourself. Long live democracy?

Of course, as much as I'd love to, harping on Mrs Patil's presidential term is going to get nobody anywhere. Another observation I'd like to bring your minds to, however, is the average age of presidential nominees this year. Kalam is 80, Manmohan Singh is 79, Pranab Mukherjee is 78. At this rate, I'm waiting for the day where at least some of our political leaders represent the post independence era. The country with the youngest population is being governed by the oldest leaders. Doesn't it sound ideal? Mukherjee serves terms as Finance Minister, Defence Minister, External Affairs Minister; earns reputation as a seasoned Congress stalwart and then can step down from his post only to occupy the First House as President. How much fight does he have left in him? And why do our elected representatives continue to burden the Presidential post with people who look like they might drop dead any minute? Even if our elected representatives, by the middle of their terms, turn into sad, sorry figures, at least give us a nominal head who can inspire confidence? If Article 52 is right, and the President is supposed to be a representative of the Indian citizen, than be it Kalam, Singh or Mukherjee; India is full of bent backs, soft voices and grey hair. And given that we're the youngest population in the world, that's just sad. There is no plan.

'Rave' Reviews

The recent incidents of Mumbai cops busting parties in hotels and homes alike have generated quite the protest. To all those who have taken up arms against the busting of many a house party in the city recently, I respect your dedication and commitment towards keeping Mumbai a suitable late night party destination. I really do. I'll even concur with the fact that the city's police should really be focusing on matters that are much more pressing than parties. Granted, busting rapes is more important than busting raves. However, where I lose the point of the argument is people losing their tempers over the cops using the word 'rave' to describe what the youth would describe as a relatively boring party. With all due respect, most of us do not know the difference between a charge sheet and a show cause notice or a subpoena. If we cannot trust ourselves to use proper Police terms while describing a scenario, why should we expect the police to use 'happening' lingo appropriately?

Where the issue truly lies, however, is the increasing feeling that our freedom in the city is being curbed, especially post 11 pm. The legal drinking age being increased to 25 caused enough uproar when it was announced last year, but the new requirement of  a 'drinking permit' has been met with ridicule. Much of this ridicule turned to anger, however, when the police followed their orders to the letter, busting quite a few people who did not possess this permit. As a person who has always believed that the drinking age limit is ridiculous, I will not speak on this matter. Most people who enjoy clubbing and house partying are barely 21 (the previous limit) and hence any attempts to meet a middle ground on the drinking limit has failed. I sincerely doubt that many of my friends who turned 21 sheer weeks after the age limit was raised to 25 would even agree to set the limit at 22.

There has been no satisfying justification to the entire scenario at all. We do not know if this is the Mumbai Police's attempt to curb late night crimes by imposing a curfew. It is definitely too early to tell if this attempt has worked. All we see is an attempt to make more money - through these permits and through fines being paid by the people who do not possess these permits. Has the youth really become a soft target for the cops to fill their pockets? Because it sure as hell seems more likely than the cops 'protecting' us by parenting us rather than policing us. Can we have an official statement, please, to clear the confusion and allow any semblance of debate? Honestly, Mumbai Police, even the pretence of democracy will be better received than this outright oppression. Or have you not been noticing how democracy in our country has lasted this long? Something to think about.

First World Problems

It’s been a tough week for Indians, what with petrol prices skyrocketing and the Government initiating a crackdown on torrent websites. The way I see it, there couldn’t be a harder hitting combination of restrictions – can’t get out of the house because petrol is so expensive, and can’t sit at home because you can’t download movies or TV shows anymore. Added to horrible weather, power cuts and KKR getting into the IPL final and you’ve got yourself a disaster of a summer. No offence to KKR, of course, but they do have the worst dressed cheerleaders and we all know how that can dampen the best of sporting contests.

Coming back to more important issues, petrol prices have risen by seven rupees a liter, prompting a lot of text message forwards and political complaints. Simply put, the people are SMS-ing while Mamta Banerjee is PMS-ing. Many of her rants blame the Government for being shrewd and unable to manage the economy, especially since crude oil prices have fallen. What she fails to ignore is that the value of the rupee against the dollar has fallen almost exactly proportionately to the rise in petrol prices. Either way, the Congress was seen rethinking the whole UPA alliance, saying ‘aise dost hain toh dushman ki kya zaroorat hai?’ Completely justified, since Mamta Didi has been constantly running her mouth about the Congress’s failure to rule efficiently. Basically, the Congress is KKR and Mamta Bannerjee is Saurav Ganguly. Or the Congress could be the Indian National Cricket Team and Mamta Bannerjee is Saurav Ganguly. Or, the Congress could be Pune’s IPL team and Mamta Bannerjee’s remains on the ‘Saurav Ganguly’ position in the ‘World’s Worst Comparisons’ list.

The other big story today is about the blocking of several torrent and video sharing websites. There’s been wide scale protest by the youth (more SMS forwards) who call the move a censorship on their freedom (the following clause about them encouraging piracy and causing million dollar losses to production houses has been omitted from their statement) and are trying to find ways of circumventing this ban. Personally, I started downloading movies and TV shows off the internet 5 years ago and it’s only now that the whole downloading system has become a mass phenomenon that censorship was felt necessary. So far, India enjoyed the position of being the largest population in the world to enjoy uncensored internet (isn’t that what democracy means?) and hence the ban was a long time coming, especially since most people believed the Government incapable of banning a website. In the long run, banning websites may seem inconsequential as compared to the several scams and unsolved criminal cases that have come to be associated with the UPA’s political reign. However, in the Government’s view, it is making an honest attempt to plug a million dollar loss to the private sector. What it doesn’t understand is that more often than not, people download movies because they’re not sure if they want to pay to watch these movies in a theatre. The probability of all the money ‘lost’ by production houses because of illegal downloads being converted into sales for them is highly unlikely. Of course, by this logic, the production houses weren’t losing any sales in the first place. Something to think about?

Of course, the mantra to feeling happier about these first world problems is feeling thankful that we are still fortunate enough to have adequate food and water. To all those for whom this is not enough satisfaction, a well phrased Google search will return results as to how you can still access blocked websites, just as easy as a well phrased Google search will tell you how to make a bomb. More power to the Internet, seems like there truly is no plan.